Hospice fulfills a daughter’s wish

Libby Wahl’s family had one wish for their father, A.J. Green, when his cancer and dementia could no longer be treated at his home. “We wanted him to be cared for with compassion and dignity—and we knew he would be in the best of hands at Henry Ford Hospice Home,” she said.

Four years earlier, Libby’s mother received care at Hospice Home for two weeks, after a massive heart attack and stroke left her in a coma. “Even though Mom had no idea where she was, the staff treated her and our family with infinite kindness. They would talk to her, comb her unruly, curly hair and dress her in clean t-shirts,” Libby recalled. “They did everything possible to make her passing easier.”

As much as Libby’s stepmother wanted to keep A.J. at home, she was about to have hip replacement surgery, and she knew she would need to make other arrangements. She and the rest of the family decided on taking A.J. to Henry Ford Hospice home for respite care until she recovered from surgery.

It soon became evident that A.J.’s cancer had progressed and he wouldn’t be able to return home. But A.J., who had always been “headstrong,” according to Libby, remained determined. She and her family were touched by the staff’s patience—even when A.J. kept trying to get up to put his shoes on, so he would be ready to leave. “He was impatient but also a charmer, and everyone liked him. Even the housekeeping staff checked in often to see what they could do for him,” Libby said, “and staff working in other areas of the residence would stop by to see him when their shift ended.”

Libby fondly remembers a time when her father got up for his shoes and one of the nurses danced him back over to his bed. “It was such a sweet gesture. My dad eventually forgot that he wanted to go home,” she said.

The only thing Libby regrets is not having taken her father to Hospice Home sooner. “The loving care and support he received allowed my family to enjoy the time we had with our dad. It also allowed us to care for ourselves, so we could be at our best with him.”

While Libby admits the decision to arrange hospice care for a loved one is never easy, she believes it is best for both the patient and the family. She emphasized that engaging hospice care does not mean you are giving up.

"Taking care of someone at the end of life is physically and emotionally exhausting,” Libby said. “You have to consider your own health and how it affects your ability to help others. I have seen caregivers become so tired and resentful they take it out on the person they love—and that is the last thing you would want to do."

For other families in similar situations, Libby said, "I would advise them to take advantage of the help hospice care offers, and not to feel guilty about it. It helped my family provide a peaceful and respectful end of life for both our parents. I have no doubt it was the best thing we could do for them."