Ask Dr. Michael Ryan About: Rekindling Togetherness After Treatment

Michael Ryan, Psy.D., is the clinical director of supportive oncology at Henry Ford Cancer Institute.

When treatment ends, many patients feel the loss of an emotional connection to their medical team. That grief may indicate it’s time to rekindle old relationships or make new ones.

Also, rediscovering activities that gave you a purpose and passion before your cancer diagnosis may help to build a sense of meaning and community. Some survivors get involved with advocacy for cancer patients. Others don’t. If necessary, get a passion perspective from loved ones or a mentor.

How can survivors manage self-care and socializing?

Residual fatigue and pain often occur after treatment. Know your limits.

Accept offers for help. Receiving help from your medical team had built connections. It can do the same in other situations. If you’re at a gathering, be transparent with your host about your needs.

Make contingency plans so you’ll always have a way of escape. If guests come to your home, suggest short visits and let people know when you need to rest.

What are a few ways to offset negative conversations about cancer?

Plan respectful ways to stop the conversation: “I appreciate your concern, but I’m not going to focus on cancer today.” Change the subject. Ask a loved one to help you circumvent negative conversations.

Before a gathering, ask guests to focus on non-cancer topics. Interconnect with others by doing group
activities such as singing or playing games.

What are some tips for having overnight guests post-cancer treatment?

Let guests know you’re excited about their visit, and you’ll be taking time for self-care. Plan ways to fill your needs. For example, tell guests you may go to bed early. Ask guests to bring a book or quiet work for those times.

Make plans with other friends to invite your guests to dinner or sightseeing so you
can have a break.

Imerman Angels: free one-on-one support

If you’re a cancer patient, survivor or caregiver, you can get free one-on-one support from someone who’s been in your shoes. Imerman Angels connects you with “mentor angels” who inspire hope and lend emotional support.

Imerman Angels recently presented Henry Ford Cancer Institute with the Healthcare Angel award for outstanding involvement. Henry Ford has the third largest sign-up rate among U.S. cancer centers.

Learn more about getting a mentor, or becoming one.