If your male partner seems to spend too much time in the bathroom, you’re not alone. A quick scan through online forums will reveal that many women are puzzled—or downright irritated—by men’s lengthy bathroom sessions.
Are guys just using time on the toilet to scroll uninterrupted? Or do men actually poop more than women? Eva Alsheik, M.D., a gastrointestinal specialist at Henry Ford Health, shares some bathroom basics to clear the air.
Why Do Men Take Longer in the Bathroom?
Regardless of sex and gender, there are a few universal truths about bowel movements. First, going anywhere from three times a day to three times a week is normal for any gender. So, if your partner retreats to the restroom more than once a day, he might actually be pooping each time (though we can’t guarantee it).
“It’s possible your partner just has more frequent bowel movements than you,” says Dr. Alsheik. “But there’s no data to suggest that men poop more than women.”
Regardless of the frequency, people of any gender shouldn’t need more than a couple of minutes to do the job. “A healthy bowel movement should take less than a few minutes to complete,” says Dr. Alsheik. “If you’re sitting there longer than a few minutes and nothing happens, get up, wash your hands and try again later if there is an urge.”
In other words, if your partner is on the potty for longer than a commercial break, something else is going on. “If he’s constipated, he may sit there for a while, straining,” says Dr. Alsheik. “Constipation is a common digestive problem and can be the reason behind long bathroom sessions. Statistically, however, women are more likely than men to be constipated.”
Signs of Constipation
So maybe constipation is the culprit. How would he know if that’s the issue?
Contrary to popular belief, someone who goes every day can still be constipated. It’s not how often you go, but the size and shape of your stool that matters.
“Normal stool should look like a smooth log,” says Dr. Alsheik. “Watery or mushy stool is consistent with diarrhea while lumpy, hard or pebble-like stool is consistent with constipation.”
But don’t expect your partner to share all this info with you, even if you want him to. “Many people are embarrassed to talk about their bathroom habits, even though it’s a normal and healthy bodily function,” says Dr. Alsheik. “But you could suggest that he talk with his provider about his overall health, including any digestive problems.”
Issues he should tell his provider about include:
Meet With A Gastroenterologist
- Abdominal pain
- Bloody stools
- Changes in bowel habits, such as constipation or diarrhea
- Change to the color, size, shape or consistency of your bowel movements
- Feeling like you can’t completely empty your bowels
- Unexplained weight loss
- Unusual stool color, including black or pale stools
Is It Bad to Sit on the Toilet Too Long?
What if constipation isn’t the issue, but he just enjoys scrolling or reading in the bathroom? Sorry, guys—while it may seem like a great place to get away from it all, it’s actually bad for your health.
“Sitting on the toilet allows gravity to pull on your pelvic area, so you’re putting extra pressure on those muscles and nerves,” says Dr. Alsheik. “Over time, you could end up with pelvic floor issues, hemorrhoids or prolapse.”
And anecdotal evidence would suggest that many men do partake in long bathroom breaks. “There’s no science to show that men actually spend more time on the toilet,” says Dr. Alsheik. “But informal surveys and online chats do suggest this is a common issue.”
This isn’t to say that women never spend too much time in the loo. After all, the bathroom is a place we can often sit without others bothering us. And don’t we all need that sometimes?
Communication Is Key
If you’re pretty sure that your man is just killing time in the toilet and you’re annoyed, talk about it. Together, you can come up with a solution that works for both of you. “Everyone deserves time each day to de-stress and decompress,” says Dr. Alsheik. “But ideally, that time shouldn’t be when you’re sitting on the toilet.”
Reviewed by Eva Alsheik, M.D., a gastroenterologist and director of the Center for Motility Disorders at Henry Ford Health. She sees patients at Henry Ford Hospital in Detroit and Henry Ford Medical Center – Royal Oak.
