When going through cancer treatment, caregivers are a silver lining. They provide hope and encouragement - and help loved ones with daily tasks they might not be able to do themselves. They serve in roles ranging from therapists to chauffeurs.
But being a caregiver isn't easy. Oftentimes, a caregiver has to uproot their life just as much as their loved one who has cancer. They may have to leave their job, temporarily give up hobbies and maintain the emotional strength to watch their loved one endure a grueling hardship. This means it's crucial that caregivers know how to take care of themselves, and that they have a support system to help them get through this difficult time.
“Caregivers are priceless in cancer care, and the role is so demanding – both physically and mentally,” says Cynthia Ulreich, a nurse practitioner specializing in cancer care at Henry Ford Health. “It’s a fulltime job – and if a caregiver isn’t able to balance that role with their own needs, they will burn out.”
Physically, a caregiver tends to their loved one’s needs – and those needs can vary depending upon how the cancer is affecting them. Caregivers may find themselves helping to maintain hygiene, making meals according to specific dietary recommendations, grocery shopping and more.
Mentally, though, the job tends to be tougher. “Unfortunately, caregivers have to watch their loved one go through it all, and they tend to feel helpless, because in that regard there isn’t anything they can do,” Ulreich says. “Despite everything, if the condition gets worse, caregivers blame themselves for not taking good enough care – and that’s a terrible feeling.”
To avoid burnout - or feeling like you aren't doing a good enough job - Ulreich offers some advice:
- Do something for yourself. “You have to remember you are an individual with your own basic needs,” she says. “You don’t need to be with the person 24/7. During down time, take an hour or two to do something that helps you recharge.” Do you like to exercise? Sweat it out at the gym or calm your mind with yoga. In the middle of a good book? Find a quiet place to read for a while. Even just going for a walk on a nice day, talking to a friend on the phone, or playing in the backyard with the dog are ways that can help you endure other demands.
- Take advantage of friends and family. Friends and family want to help – so let them, Ulreich says. If your friends want to visit with your loved one for a few hours, use the time to get other things done. Go shopping or get ahead on other tasks in your life that are piling up.
- Find a support network. There are numerous networks that connect caregivers who are in similar situations. It can be hard to talk about your frustrations with people who just don’t know what it’s like, so being able to express your feelings, ask questions, talk about common problems and get advice is an excellent reminder that you’re doing the best you can.
“Caregivers need to be supported,” Ulreich says. “Naturally, all the attention goes to the person with cancer, but caregivers need the support of friends and family, too.”
Reviewed by Cynthia Ulreich, an advanced oncology certified nurse practitioner who works at Henry Ford Cancer - Detroit.