When a friend or family member is struggling with mental illness, figuring out how to best support them can be a challenge. Maybe you’re not sure what to say. Or maybe you’re unclear about how to guide them to needed resources.
“That’s understandable,” says Deepak Prabhakar, M.D., chair of psychiatry and behavioral health services at Henry Ford Health. “But it’s important to remember that you don’t have to know all the answers to show your concern and be a support to a loved one who is suffering.”
Signs of Mental Illness
Everyone goes through difficult times. But sometimes the people we care about are struggling in ways that require professional intervention.
According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), nearly 1 in 5 American adults have a mental health condition, so odds are that someone in your life is suffering.
Unfortunately, identifying signs of a mental illness isn’t always clear-cut, and there’s no perfect way to determine whether a person has a mental health problem.
A handful of signs to watch out for:
- Changes in eating, sleeping and daily habits
- Loss of interest in hobbies and other activities
- Mood changes such as anger, sadness and irritability
- Neglecting school, work or other responsibilities
- Substance use
- Withdrawing from social interactions
When a Loved Ones Shows Signs of Mental Illness
Behavioral Health Services
The most important thing you can do is open a door for conversation. You may not be an expert, but letting your loved one know they can say anything can help them feel less alone.
“Start by expressing your concern,” Dr. Prabhakar says. Then consider these dos and don’ts to best support someone living with a mental illness:
What to do
- Ask questions: Instead of assuming you know what your loved one needs, ask how you can help. Then listen to their response. If you’re concerned your loved one’s life is at risk, ask if they’re having suicidal thoughts. “Don’t worry about planting an idea that doesn’t exist,” Dr. Prabhakar says. “It doesn't work like that. In fact, asking about thoughts of self-harm increases the likelihood your loved one will get the appropriate level of help.”
- Provide emotional support and encouragement: It’s common to feel like you don’t know what to do, or that your actions aren’t making a difference. But that’s not reality. Being a witness to your loved one’s pain and expressing that you care can play an important role in their health and happiness.
- Identify resources: Learn about local resources and come up with ways around potential barriers to accessing professional help. You might even offer to make an appointment with a mental health care professional or primary care provider, reminding them that seeking help is a sign of strength.
What not to do
- Wait it out: If you’re concerned about signs of mental illness in someone you care about, don’t wait for things to get better. Waiting and hoping things will improve over time may delay your loved one’s ability to access the right supports.
- Downplay their pain: Listen attentively and without judgment. Comments like “you’re going to be fine,” “cheer up” and “I know how you feel” can make your loved one feel like they’re not seen or understood. “Instead of false reassurances, remind your loved one that you’re there for them and you’ll help them access the right support,” Dr. Prabhakar says.
- Ignore your own needs: Caring for a loved one with mental illness can be stressful. It’s important to recognize your own limits and establish boundaries so you can better support your loved one. Need some support for yourself? Reach out to friends, relatives or join a support group.
Long-Term Support for Mental Illness
Most mental health conditions require ongoing care and support. Your loved one will likely experience highs, lows, periods of progress and occasional (or frequent) setbacks. You will, too.
“If your loved one gives you permission, you can work with their health care team to identify appropriate resources and participate in treatment planning,” Dr. Prabhakar says. You can also reach out to national organizations that support mental health initiatives, including NAMI and Mental Health America (MHA).
If you’re concerned your loved one is in immediate danger of harming themselves, don’t delay:
- Calling 911 or 988, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
- Take them to the nearest emergency room, where a physician can examine them and refer them for appropriate care.
- Disclose to local authorities and emergency medical personnel if your loved one or friend has a gun or other weapons in their home.
Reviewed by Deepak Prabhakar, M.D., chair of psychiatry and behavioral health services at Henry Ford Health.
