Our dreams tend to be quite mysterious. How our brains can create fantastical situations and places while we sleep is a concept researchers still don’t understand. While there might not be a scientific explanation for our dreams, many psychiatrists believe the greater value is in reflecting on our dreams and the deeper meaning they share about ourselves.
Dreaming can happen at any point in your sleep cycle, but experts find that the most vivid dreams we have tend to happen during the rapid eye movement (REM) stage of sleep. Additionally, you might have several dreams in one night, but the dream you are having right before you wake up is likely the only one you’ll remember.
Greg Mahr, M.D., a psychiatrist at Henry Ford Health, explains that our dreams are “written” in a symbolic language within the mind, and for that reason, they are more complex than the ordinary words we know.
“Dreams help us reflect on the inner aspects of our lives,” says Dr. Mahr. “They can guide us inward to what we are really thinking as long as we respect this process and the spiritual dimensions of our dreams. Don’t dismiss dreams as nonsense. Instead, look for the symbolism in these dreams to better understand what your mind is trying to tell you.”
What Common Dream Themes Might Mean
There are some dreams that almost everyone experiences at some point in their life. Here, Dr. Mahr breaks down how to understand some of these common themes in your dreams:
- Falling dreams: Dreams about falling sometimes have to do with a larger worry or feeling of losing control. It could also be your mind telling you that you should let go a little bit and admit to yourself that it is okay to fall and lose control sometimes.
- Dreams about being late: These dreams may have a connection to an internal test you are facing. There is likely something challenging you in your life that you might not feel prepared to handle.
- Intimacy dreams: “The obvious meaning people take from dreaming about an ex is wondering what ever happened to them and feel the dream gives us permission to reach out,” says Dr. Mahr. “I don’t recommend that, but instead, think about what that person meant to you. What traits do they have that you admire? Maybe it is your mind telling you that you need these traits in your life right now.”
- Dreams of people from your past: Like dreaming about a past relationship, it is also common for other people from your past (like a friend from school or an old colleague) to pop up in your dreams. These people can also be representative of a quality you should call up within yourself.
- Getting lost in your dreams: This could be an external expression of feeling lost internally. Maybe you are unsure about where your life is taking you or are feeling the need to find yourself. “This doesn’t have to be seen as something negative,” adds Dr. Mahr. “Sometimes we have to lose ourselves to find who we really are.”
- Dying/illness dreams: These dreams could be a sign of internal damage or an expression of feeling wounded. If someone dies in your dreams, it could be symbolic of you needing to move on from who that person represents as an internal figure in your life.
- Nightmares: Sometimes nightmares represent something you need to know that you are pushing away. Ask yourself if there is something you are trying to avoid that needs to be part of your life. This could be angry or sad feelings, or even events that you haven’t dealt with or processed properly yet.
- Recurring dreams: “If a dream keeps coming back, I think that your mind is trying to send you a message,” says Dr. Mahr. “If a dream keeps trying to tell you the same thing, maybe it means that you haven’t listened yet.”
How To Understand Your Dream Better
Interpreting your dreams isn’t about jumping to obvious conclusions. Many common dream themes exist, but they don’t always mean the same thing to everyone. We all have different life experiences, so the way one person might interpret a dream may be very different to someone else’s experience with the same type of dream.
If you are looking to be more reflective in your life, Dr. Mahr recommends the practice of incubating your dreams. To do this, try to focus on a topic or situation you’d like to dream about before falling asleep. This keeps it in your mind and makes it more likely that you will dream about that topic so you can wake up and maybe see an issue or situation from a different perspective.
Dr. Mahr also suggests these strategies for remembering your dreams and analyzing what they mean to you:
- When you wake up, think about the dream or dreams you had while it is fresh in your mind. You might benefit from writing everything down so it is easier to remember all the details.
- Start by asking yourself if anything comes to mind about the overall plot of the dream. Does it remind you of anything in your life?
- From there, look for an association you have with each element of the dream. This association could be pulled from your personal life and past experiences, but also art, literature and movies.
- Ask yourself – did anything happen in your life to stir up something in your dreams? Maybe you’ve had a new challenge or stressor come up. Or were you reading a book or watching a movie that had an impact on you?
- “As you explore your dreams and look for possible connections, always approach it positively,” advises Dr. Mahr. “For example, if you dream that you were lost, that doesn’t mean you are lost in your life. Rather, explore if there is something more you are looking for in your life. Or, if you were being chased in a dream, that doesn’t mean someone is out to get you. Instead, ask yourself what in your life could you be paying attention to more.”
Reviewed by Dr. Greg Mahr, a psychiatrist specialized in psychosomatic medicine who sees patients at Henry Ford Health – One Ford Place.